Mar 6, 2012

Possible Browns Bounties

With all the talk recently about bounties in the NFL, I thought it would be fun to think of some bounties the Browns should have. Let's be serious, everyone does it.

James Harrison- $20,000: The most obvious one here. He's had cheap-shots across the league but many directly injuring some Browns. He also tried to shoot his assistant high school coach with a BB gun in the locker room. Pretty much a straight thug. 

Appropriate punishment and possible perpetrators: Ray Ventrone with a punch in the face. 

Funded by: Colt's dad, Cribbs' barber, and MoMass' psychologist.

Ben Roethlisberger- $2,000: Don't really think I need an explanation on this. 

Appropriate punishment and possible perpetrators: Ray Ventrone with a kick in the balls.

Funded by: College females across the country.

AJ Green- $1,000: He single handedly beat us twice last year, thanks to botched game management and Joe Haden mistiming a break on the ball. 

Appropriate punishment and possible perpetrators: Ray Ventrone taking out his knees. 

Funded by: Timeouts in Shurmur's pockets and Joe Haden's cleats.

Ray Lewis- $5,000: The future hall of famer who should be on the Browns if He Who Shall Not Be Named didn't move the team to Baltimore

Appropriate punishment and possible perpetrators: Ray Ventrone stabbing him on the field (or outside a Miami nightclub).

Funded by: Matt Stover, Steve Everitt and all the other Browns from The Move who had to go play with that murderer.

He Who Shall Not Be Named- $1,000,000: There's a reason he's always in the box and never on the sideline's. 

Appropriate punishment: Ray Ventrone water boarding him and tearing out his heart like he did to Browns fans everywhere in the 90's.

Funded by: taxpayer's of Cleveland and the greater Cleveland area.

The moral of this post is that Ray Ventrone needs to be the headhunting Brown for the foreseeable future. 

If you have any other ideas please comment or tweet us @ClevelandsRocks

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